


You aren't beautiful

by jaetens



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaetens/pseuds/jaetens
Summary: Jaehyun refuses to admit that Ten is the most beautiful man he has ever seen.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A fill to a prompt from NCT Prompts in Twitter.
> 
> My first ever NCT fic! I do not know how it got this long hahaha! But hopefully you will enjoy this ^^

Jaehyun thinks Hansol is weird. No, actually he thinks he is full-on crazy at this point. His best friend since forever and roommate for two years has been having a major crisis in his life that Jaehyun could not even understand. Just one day, the taller came home in their shared apartment clutching his chest and murmuring words like a voodoo chant as he plopped himself on the couch. A few minutes later, he had learned that Hansol was smitten. In an instant, his best friend was in love.

And this is not an uncommon thing for Hansol. Hansol gets easily attracted at anything, breathing or not. When they were six, he got obsessed with his dog and had abandoned his snack time with Jaehyun every afternoon in favor of walking the fluffy corgi around the village. When they were twelve, he got into dance. This time around, he took Jaehyun and the two of them went to practice every weekends. Two years ago, the taller discovered hats and has built a fortress solely dedicated to it. The number is growing dangerously and Jaehyun thinks he needs to conduct an intervention soon. Now that they are twenty and in college and trying to be adults, Hansol has found a new thing he could give his affection to. This thing is called Yuta.

 

Yuta is nice. Japanese, same age as them and is working with Hansol in the ramen house several blocks from their apartment. He is also a college student but not on the same university as them. Hansol has met him a month ago and since that day, Jaehyun’s best friend cannot shut up about how beautiful the Japanese man is.

 

“We were washing dishes together earlier and I swear the way he lathers soap on the bowl is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Hansol says while they were eating dinner at ten in the evening. He is wiggling while narrating and if it is possible to have heart eyes, he will have them.

 

Jaehyun just got home from his classes since he has a crazy schedule this semester. He does not need another round of this insane talk. He sighs as he inhales the hot ramen Hansol has bought for the two of them. The ramen at his work is delicious and even if they are eating it five times a week, he cannot really complain. It is free and it is hot. His stomach is always thankful that Hansol’s job puts food on their table.

 

“His little Japanese accent is so cute. I taught him a new word today and he looked so adorable repeating again and again when he thought I was not looking. I want to squish him so bad.” Hansol continues.

 

“Don’t you think it’s weird that you are spazzing over him like this? Why don’t you just ask him out if you really like him?” Jaehyun does not intend to be that straightforward but he is exhausted and he does not comprehend why Hansol keeps on using the word “beautiful” to describe a man. Jaehyun is cool with Hansol’s preference, though. He is not disgusted or anything. He simply cannot understand how homosexual things work. Including their choice of words.

 

Hansol freezes upon hearing his friend’s words, mouth hanging open and eyes bulging. He puts down his chopsticks and clears his throat. Jaehyun is nervous because he might have crossed the line he should not have.

 

“Beautiful is a universal word. It knows no gender.” Hansol says calmly. “And Yuta is the epitome of beautiful, okay.

 

Jaehyun does not argue after that. Yuta is a sensitive topic when it comes to Hansol. Just like the many other things he was obsessed with in the past. He will get over it soon, Jaehyun resolves. He just have to endure it for the time being.

 

 

 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

 

It looks like Hansol will not get over Yuta soon. If anything, he buries himself further into the pit of Yuta’s splendor.

 

Apparently, the two of them are now dating after Hansol had asked Yuta out on the second month anniversary of their meeting. Yuta thinks it is sweet that Hansol is keeping count of the days they have known each other and that the timing is the most romantic thing. No wonder why they are together and so in love with each other.

 

Hansol being in a relationship means Jaehyun has to adjust as well. He has to stay out of their apartment when Hansol tells him that Yuta is sleeping over. Yuta says he can stay but Jaehyun does not want to hear everything. He wants to save himself from the embarrassment and the horror knowing his best friend and his boyfriend are humping each other in the other room.

 

When they are not having sex, Jaehyun has to bear with all the public display of tongues in front of him. The two likes kissing so much that they forget that there is another person in the room. They are cute when they are cooking together or when they are tickling each other. But when Hansol starts showing his tongue on Yuta’s throat, Jaehyun wishes for a new pair of eyes that has not seen his friends fornicating.

 

He opts to stay in his room when he needs to study and when he really needs to be in the common area, he tells the two of them to behave or he will harshly kick them out of the apartment without feeling guilty. Yuta is much more considerate because he knows when to stop and how to stop Hansol. He is also too kind for helping Jaehyun on some of his homework particularly those that involve numbers.

 

It is fun to have Yuta around. Jaehyun is already used to his presence and over the short period of time, they grow fond of each other and Jaehyun starts opening up to the Japanese. He can tell Yuta anything with ease now. Hansol is lucky to have such an incredible boyfriend who accepts all his eccentricity and loves him as he is.

 

But there is just one tiny little problem about him.

 

His roommate.

 

One evening, Jaehyun and Hansol end up in Yuta’s place near their university after watching a movie. Jaehyun will usually head straight home after hanging out with them since he has early shift at work. Tonight, however, Hansol tells him to go with them for a while as he is just going to pick up something he left that he needs for his class the following day. Little does Jaehyun know that he will meet someone that will turn his world upside down.

 

His name is Ten. He has a more complicated name but Jaehyun does not even remember or cares to remember what it is as he gets hit with a wave of unwanted feelings the moment he laid eyes on the young man. He is sure the said young man is not from Seoul because of his different features and the accent on his words and he is sure Yuta has mentioned it as well. But again, he does not care at this moment. He is small. Even smaller than Yuta. He has an intense gaze that will melt your whole being but his smiles will make you puke rainbows. He got this side-shave hairstyle going on really hot for him that Jaehyun has to stop himself from groaning when he walks past him. And holy mother of Jesus those multiple piercings on both of his ears. He got like 83 studs lining on his lobe and Jaehyun is not a fan of punk shit but they looked so hot.

 

Ten is drawing something on a table when they come in, looking quite surprised to have visitors at that time. He excuses himself because he still has to finish his project and that he has to go out with his classmates in a bit. Jaehyun is about to cry because why can’t he have more time with such a beautiful person???

 

“Nice meeting you Hansol and Jaehyun.” Ten greets, waving cutely with the little hand of his while he zips up his grey hoodie that swallows his petite frame. He slings his bag across his body and the plate tube on his shoulders before he bounces out the door. Jaehyun is holding his breath. His eyes are still on the closed door even after seconds has passed by since Ten left.

 

And that is it for Jaehyun.

 

He is fucked.

 

 

 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

 

Jaehyun had a girlfriend once in his life. She was really pretty and Jaehyun could say he loved her when they were together but things had to end when they have to be in two different places to pursue the things they want. She wanted to study languages abroad and Jaehyun wanted to be a physician in their own country. Thinking about it, he did not regret breaking up with her. They were young that time and it was the best thing to do. He wants to focus on passing all of his courses and graduating on time. He flirts here and there. Being attracted to another person again like this is the last thing he needs right now.

 

In this case, it is worse and dangerous. It is the kind where he can spell Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul without blinking. It is the kind where he is considering of buying a set of stud earrings as a gift. It is the kind where he cannot sleep at night thinking when will be the next time he can see Ten again. When will they talk again? Will he remember him when they see each other again? What does he think about him? There are so many questions in his mind that he cannot shut off. It is making him insane.

 

He does not support this kind of behavior. He was the first person to tell Hansol to stop acting weird and just ask Yuta out for the life of him but here he is, lurking in front of Yuta and Ten’s university after only a week of meeting the Thai boy. Hansol will surely kill him if he finds out about this but he cannot help it anymore. He will lose his fucking mind if he will not do something about his crazy thoughts.

 

All he wants is to see him again. Maybe if he does, he can sleep at night soundly again. Maybe he will forget about those silver studs and drop the idea of studying Thai language. There will be no more thoughts swimming inside his head. He is so sure this will end after this day.

 

According to the information Jaehyun has gathered courtesy of his best friend who is too dense to have a clue, Yuta and Ten goes home at around four in the afternoon on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yuta goes straight to work and Ten walks home if he does not have special projects to finish. Today is a lucky day because he spots the two right on time. Jaehyun takes his position on the nearby bus stop, visible to the two and acts like he is waiting for someone, once he sees them approaching. He puts on his earphones for extra natural effect. He is not the one who makes the first move when Yuta taps his shoulder.

 

“Jaehyun!” Yuta calls for him. “What are you doing here?”

 

And Jaehyun’s whole body lights up because Ten is excessively close to him. The other is standing just in front of him, breathing the same air with him, and maybe also his expensive cologne that he especially sprayed on a few minutes ago. He is still as beautiful as the last time he has seen him. Today he is wearing an oversized sweater with sleeves too long for his arms. His hair and ear piercings are still badass. He wants to mouth praises but he swallows everything to not humiliate himself.

 

“Oh hey!” He removes his earphones from his ears and fakes a surprised expression. He is amazed at his acting abilities at this point. “My project partner lives around here. We just finished our assignment.” There is no project partner. He should be at work right now but he called in sick for the first time in his life to be a crazy stalker.

 

“Hi!” Ten says. There is that small wave again. Jaehyun wants to really leave earth and be one with the galaxy. “Are you going home now? I am on my way to café downtown.”

 

Jaehyun does not need to think twice. He has to grab this once in a lifetime opportunity or he will regret it for the rest of his existence. “Can I join you? Got some more studying to do.”

 

“Sure. A company won’t hurt.” Ten agrees.

 

“Alright, I will go first then. I have work.” Yuta bids his goodbye as the two waits for the next bus to take them to their destination. Ten is still smiling while clutching the strap of his bag on his shoulders. Jaehyun hopes he will not sense how his heart is beating so fast inside his chest now that they are standing side by side, shoulder bumping with every slight movement.

 

Skipping work is so worth it.

 

 

 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

 

 “I need to stop, Hansol. I really need to stop.” Jaehyun declares when he gets home that night. He throws his bag at the side of the couch and plopped down on it with a loud grunt. So similar at how Hansol looked a couple of months ago.

 

Hansol is in their tiny kitchen, waiting for their dinner to heat up. He is leaning on the sink as he stares at Jaehyun’s sorry state on the couch. “What the fuck is happening?”

 

Jaehyun does not know what is happening with him, too. One moment, he does not understand how Hansol is head-over-heels in love with Yuta. And then the next, he is on the same boat as him. He is so attracted to Yuta’s roommate and he cannot help it anymore.

 

He is not a type of person to suppress his feelings. He is the type to face his life challenges head on because he hates having what-ifs. He did just like that but he finds himself in a more fucked situation and in a deeper mess. He thinks he is a bit in love with Ten by now.

 

It all went downhill after they spent their afternoon together in the coffee shop. They exchanged numbers and the smaller guy develops a habit of inviting him for coffee once or twice every week when he is free. Being an architecture student leaves him little time for other things and Jaehyun is thankful that Ten allots some for him despite his busy schedule. Most of the time, Jaehyun wants to confess, to tell Ten what he feels about him. He wants to set himself free because there is no way that he sees the other guy as a friend. But he is scared because Ten might think that he takes advantage of their friendship and, in turn, will stop seeing him. He cannot imagine life without drinking coffee with Ten or texting him at night right before he sleeps.

 

Everything about Ten is amazing. His face is amazing. His smile is amazing. The moles on his skin is amazing. The way he draws is amazing. His mistakes in saying some words in Korean is amazing. The way he makes Jaehyun fall for him more and more every day is amazing. He is just amazing and Jaehyun is under his spell. He will do anything for a little time with Ten every day.

 

And that is why Jaehyun needs to stop. He thinks he is being Hansol. He does not want to be Hansol. In this friendship, Hansol is in charge of being weird. Jaehyun is the one who keeps them balanced. He is the one who is normal, to keep Hansol’s crazy on the acceptable range. He does not need to join in the team strange because that is just no.

 

“Ten needs to go.” Jaehyun mumbles on the sofa cushion.

 

“What?”

 

Jaehyun shifts so that he is lying on his back now. “Break up with Yuta.”

 

“What the fuck?????”

 

“We need to stop seeing them. They are making us crazy.”

 

“Them? Who?”

 

“Yuta and Ten.”

 

Jaehyun hears the microwave ding, signaling their food is ready. Hansol moves from the kitchen to bring their food on the center table. He kicks Jaehyun so he can have space to sit. “I am not crazy. You are crazy.”

 

He sits up as Hansol hands him a bowl of hot ramen. “Maybe I am crazy. I am crazy for Yuta’s roommate.”

 

“Oh, Ten is a beauty.” Hansol easily agrees and smiles at him. “But Yuta is the most beautiful.”

 

“Ten is not beautiful.” He is still refuses to use that term. Not now. Not ever.

 

Hansol only shrugs and opens their TV. Jaehyun almost pukes when EXO’s What is Love is on, mocking his misery.

 

 

 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

 

 

He fucking hates Hansol. He regrets the day he adopted him as his friend and made him a constant in his life. Now, he wants to disown him and throw him into the crater of a volcano where he belongs.

 

“YOU WHAT?” Jaehyun screams over the phone. He cannot believe that Hansol told his boyfriend about his tiny little crush and said boyfriend told the object of his affection. Jaehyun is about to scream murder because Ten invited him over to their apartment to “talk”.

 

Hansol does not sound apologetic. He sounds like a person who ships two fictional characters together and today is the day that his fantasies come true. “You go for it!”

 

“I DO NOT WANT TO GO FOR IT, YOU PIECE OF CRUSTY SHIT.”

 

“Ten is a good person! He will not make it hard for you!” And then the line goes dead. Jaehyun stares at his phone and then at Ten’s text, considering what he will do next. He does not want to be the person who stood him up. But he also does not want to go through this confession right now. He is not sure about this yet. Maybe this is just an intense crush. Maybe he is just horny all the time. He does not fucking have any idea how to word all of it without sounding like a creep. He is not even sure if he is really into guys.

 

After a series of screaming and punching his pillows, Jaehyun gets ready to go to Ten’s place. He only got twenty minutes to prepare so he just throws on his plain shirt and used pants. He does not care if he smells or his hair is all over the place. He is doomed anyway so why try looking like you are not?

 

He is at the door on time but it took him four minutes to have the courage to knock. He is going to die. He is sure about it. Ten will reject him and will think he is a crack job like Hansol. He will end their friendship. He will ignore him forever. He will—

 

“Hello!” Ten greets him cheerfully when he opens the door. He has a wide smile on his face like he won’t butcher Jaehyun’s feelings later. He lets him in and asks him to sit while he gets some snacks in the kitchen.

 

Jaehyun sits on the couch. He looks around and remarks how the apartment is cleaner than the last time he was there, the time when he first seen Ten. He feels nostalgic at how everything has changed since then. His life was peaceful then.

 

Ten returns with a plate of noodles and two pairs of chopsticks. It is not typical Korean noodles. It’s brown with lots of vegetables, seafood, and scrambled egg on it. It smells odd, too.

 

“It’s pad thai.” Ten offers him his choptsicks. “A Thai dish.”

 

As courtesy, Jaehyun does not hesitate on taking a mouthful. He does not want to disrespect his host even if he is not sure if he will puke it out later. It tastes funny in the beginning but it gets better in every bite. It is spicy and its flavor bursts inside his mouth.

 

“Is it good?” Ten asks.

 

Jaehyun nods as he continues to eat the native dish and forgets that they are supposed to share the food. Ten does not mind, though. He only watches Jaehyun finish the plate with a loud burp that makes him chuckle.

 

“You are cute.” Ten says all of a sudden while putting away the food containers from the table.

 

“Huh-what?” He heard it but he wants to make sure. Did Ten just call him cute?

 

“I won’t say it again.” The other is in the other side of the room now to clean the plates.

 

Jaehyun cannot stay calm. He knows why he is here and that the inevitable will happen sooner or later. To be honest, he is ready for the worst. He wants to get over this so that he can start moving on tomorrow and forget that Ten ever happened.

 

Once Ten is done with the dishes, he is back on the couch and Jaehyun forgets to breathe again. He is wearing his house clothes. Thin shirt and board shorts. He is not wearing his piercings tonight and his hair is simply down. In spite of the lack of all the flashy accessories, Jaehyun still thinks he is the most attractive man that ever graced on this earth. It is such a shame that he will never see him again after this.

 

“So…” Ten begins. Here it comes.

 

“I am sorry.” Jaehyun blurts out.

 

“Why?”

 

“I-I do not know.”

 

Ten moves closer to him, facing him. He touches his arm as if to soothe him but it only makes Jaehyun feel more nervous. The smaller’s hand is warm and is soft against his skin and he wants to feel it over and over again. He wants Ten to touch him all the time all his life like he is meant to do it forever. “Yuta said you want to tell me something?”

 

Jaehyun gulps. “Its.. Well, I… Uhhhh..” There is nothing dumber than this. He is sweating profusely.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“You are not beautiful.”

 

HOLY SHIT. YOU JUST DID NOT SAY THAT.

 

“What?” Ten takes his hand back and Jaehyun wants to cry. The smaller moves a bit away from him, face covered with a frown. It is the first time Jaehyun sees him like that and it kills him that he is the reason for it.

 

It is his cue to gather all his senses and make this right. And if he cannot, at least explain to Ten what he really means by his last statement. Before they part ways, he does not want him to think that he is not attractive because he is. “You are not beautiful.”

 

“I think it is not helping that you keep saying that.”

 

“You are not beautiful because that word is not enough to describe you. From the moment I met you, I cannot stop thinking about you. I have to be close to you. I have to be always around you. I thought it is all just a physical but when I started talking to you, I learned how amazing your personality is. You do not know what you do to me. How you make me feel things I haven’t felt before. And I hate it so much because I cannot fight it. It feels so wrong most of the time but whenever we are together, everything does not matter as long as I can keep you. I just want to be with you all the fucking time it hurts.”

 

Jaehyun is prepared for a slap or for Ten to kick him out. He just poured out all of his weird feelings on Ten and somehow, he feels better. Finally, he let it all out.

 

“Wow.” Ten says, stunned. Jaehyun is not sure if he is dreaming because there is a small smile on the other’s face.

 

“You are not mad at me?”

 

“Why would I be? That is the first time someone confessed to me like that.”

 

“Uhhhhh okay.”

 

“You like me that much, huh?” Ten is smiling that smile that takes Jaehyun’s breath away and it is unfair that after everything, he still makes his stomach flutter like this. He has the nerve to smile like that when Jaehyun is already dying of embarrassment.

 

Jaehyun covers his face and sobs on his hand. He cannot face him anymore. “I want to die.”

 

“No, please. I haven’t kissed you yet.”

 

He looks up. “What did you—“

 

In one swift effort, Jaehyun is on his back and Ten is on top of him, their faces millimeters away from each other. He does not anticipate this. He dreams about this but he does not think it will happen in reality. He does not expect to be kissed by Ten and be in this very compromising position but when the Thai boy closes the gap between them, Jaehyun asks for nothing more.

 

The kiss is uncoordinated. Ten trying to fit his mouth on Jaehyun while Jaehyun wants to put his tongue inside Ten’s mouth right away. Their teeth keep on bumping against each other and Jaehyun is so eager to just swallow Ten’s whole mouth. Ten is laughing so hard because of their failure but then they find the perfect rhythm after few attempts and it is the best kiss Jaehyun has tasted in his life.

 

“I like you too, Jaehyun.” Ten says when they parted for air. Jaehyun does not want to let go. He wants this kiss to last a lifetime.

 

“It does not matter if you don’t. Just let me kiss you all the time.” He bites Ten’s lower lip softly.

 

Ten pouts and hits Jaehyun’s shoulder playfully. “Date me first!”

 

Jaehyun surely will. For now, he has to continue abusing those sinful lips.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you like, you can whine at me on  
> \- [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaetensed)  
> \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jaetensed)
> 
>  
> 
> ^_^


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